


trust and love and the desire to help

by ladybug114



Category: BomBARDed (Podcast)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, MOTA 2019, MotA2019, and his bards loving him, background Yashee/Tabitha, just Symbol loving his bards, march of the arts 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-23 22:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20347516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladybug114/pseuds/ladybug114
Summary: There are still secrets among them, probably always will be, but there is also trust and love and the desire to do something to help, no matter what.~~3 times Symbol helped his bards, and 1 time they helped him.





	trust and love and the desire to help

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the anniversary of BomBARDed, and for the march of the arts gift exchange in the discord! This is a gift for Leon, who requested Symbol being a dad to Chaos Sauce!  
Hope you like this, and happy MotA!

The knock at the door cuts Symbol off mid-groan as he stares at the pile of paperwork sitting on his desk, about to topple over. “Come in,” he says, pushing the papers aside and trying to cover up his relief at a possible distraction. 

His smile grows as the door is pushed open, revealing Yashee, who is standing at the door, fidgeting with her hands.

“Yashee, good to see you,” he says, gesturing for her to sit in the chair in front of his desk. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, it’s kind of embarrassing,” she starts, not making direct eye contact with him. “Normally I ask the boys for advice when I need it, but they might make fun of me, or laugh at me, or talk about it too much, you know?”

Symbol does. His bards all love each other, he knows that, but they can also get over-excited and latch onto things too strongly. So he nods, and answers, “Of course. I’d be happy to help you with anything, if I can.”

Yashee nods back, finally looking up at him. “Um, so, Tabitha and I have been planning to have dinner together for a couple of weeks now, and we’re finally doing it tomorrow night, and I guess I’ve just started to realize that it might be a date?” Her eyes drop again, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. “I’m okay if it is a date, but, um, how do I know? And what’s different if it is?”

Leaning back in his chair, Symbol processes that. If someone had asked, he probably would have told them that Yashee and Tabitha were dating already. They certainly spent enough time together, and Tabitha’s crush at least was easy to see. But if they hadn’t made anything official, he could understand why Yashee would be concerned.

“You two hang out a lot, right?” he finally asks, sitting forward again.

“Well, yeah,” Yashee nods, “but this feels different somehow. Maybe because it was more planned?”

“Just treat it normally, I think.”

Yashee’s eyes widen. “Really?” she asks, as if shocked that the answer could be that simple.

“Sure,” Symbol shrugs. “If it feels different while you’re there, and you’re really worried about it, there’s nothing wrong with asking. But if it just feels like a normal hang out, there’s no need to panic.”

“Oh,” Yashee says, and now _ she _ is the one processing. “I never thought about it like that, but… That makes a lot of sense, actually.” Grinning now, Yashee practically jumps to her feet. “Thanks, Splash! I feel a lot better now!”

“It’s Symbol,” he corrects, more out of instinct than anything else, but Yashee is already dashing out of his office. 

Watching her go, Symbol wonders when he became a relationship counselor for the bards he was supposed to be teaching.

* * *

Sometimes, Randy has bad days. Symbol doesn’t know his story, has never asked, but he knows enough. Knows that Randy grew up on the road, knows that he never received a formal education, knows that he doesn’t have a family to go home to.

And all of that is fine. He had learned early on that Randy didn’t know how to read or write, and they had found ways to work around it. Symbol would write tests that were more drawings than anything else, and even if he couldn’t read words or letters, Randy could read music. And when something came up that really _ needed _ writing, they would work together, Symbol reading and writing, Randy dictating.

It wasn’t the most efficient system, but it worked, and most importantly, it let Randy stay in school with the only family he had.

But. Sometimes.

Sometimes Randy gets angry, as angry as Yashee in one of her barbarian rages. As with most things, he never tells Symbol why, and Symbol never asks, but he can tell when it happens. The rage and frustration simmering below the surface, the knowledge that there is something that he can’t do.

Things are better now, now that Yashee and Raz’ul know and are helping, but the bad days still come

And when they come, Symbol does his best with what he has.

“Good, Randy,” Symbol says, watching his student with satisfaction. “Again.”

They were in the training room, just the two of them, and Randy was sprinting and flipping and hiding around the room, peering out from behind obstacles to throw his daggers at targets Symbol had placed around the room.

They had been working on a paper that Randy needed to write, but it was taking too long, and Symbol had seen the impatience and frustration building, and he knew that something needed to be done before Randy snapped and ran off.

So, training.

Randy was panting, but he continued the drill, moving quickly and throwing with deadly accuracy, his attention focused solely on the exercise, his anger at himself forgotten, or at least diverted.

Maybe it isn’t the healthiest coping mechanism. Maybe Symbol should talk to him, find out the real cause of the anger constantly simmering beneath Randy’s skin, but for now, he does what he can to help.

* * *

“You gotta help me, Splash.”

“It’s Symbol,” he corrects, not even looking up from the slice of pie sitting in front of him.

“Symbol, whatever, _ please _.”

It’s not the desperate plea that makes Symbol look up, it’s the easy acceptance of the correction. All of his bards use the nickname, but Raz’ul probably clings to it the hardest, so giving up like that is… unusual for him. “Alright,” Symbol says, raising his eyes, and he’s surprised to see that Raz’ul really does look a bit panicked, his eyes darting around the cafeteria. “What’s going on?”

“I need to get out of classes today,” Raz’ul says, the words escaping his mouth in a rush. It’s clear that he’s been holding them in, waiting for someone who will listen to them.

Symbol’s eyebrow goes up. His students aren’t the type to skip class (except for Randy, sometimes, and even he rarely does so now), always eager to learn as much as they can, so it’s an unusual request. “Why would you want to skip class?”

Raz’ul hesitates, and Symbol braces himself for a lie. 

“I… I just have someone I need to avoid,” Raz’ul finally answers, and Symbol realizes that he’s telling the truth, or as much of it as he can.

And that honesty is enough for Symbol.

“Okay,” he says, and tries to ignore the relieved smile that spreads across Raz’ul’s face. “Will I see you at dinner?”

His eyes once again glancing behind him, Raz’ul thinks for a moment before answering, “Um, probably? I’ll let you know if I’m not going to make it, but yeah, we should be good by then.”

Symbol nods, and Raz’ul quickly walks out of the room, presumably seeking the quiet and privacy of his dorm. After watching him go, Symbol’s eyes wander over to where Raz’ul was almost obsessively looking, and things start to make a little more sense.

There’s a very well dressed dwarf standing in the corner of the room, caught up in a seemingly intense conversation with Alola. He looks familiar, and it takes Symbol only a moment of watching to figure out why.

Family can be complicated, and Symbol doesn’t mind doing what he can to help Raz’ul deal with his.

* * *

It’s hard, being him. 

The hardest part, he thinks, is that he’s not even sure what “being him” means anymore. Sure, there are probably some things that have remained consistent throughout the years, but he really doesn’t know what they are. 

He puts on a new persona every once in a while because he has to, not because he wants to. If he could, he would pick one and keep it, wear it long enough to really feel comfortable in it. 

But he can’t do that.

It’s been a long time since he’s done that.

Sometimes, he loses himself. Loses himself in the people he’s met and the people he’s lost and the people he’s been. Memories that pile on top of each other, getting mixed up in his head, until he’s not sure anymore who or where or when he is. It doesn’t happen often, and he still hasn’t figured out how to deal with it. Usually, the only thing that helps is time, and luckily that’s one thing he has plenty of.

He’s lost right now.

He was reading something, he doesn’t remember what, but it sparked a memory, an old one, a time and place and identity that he had forgotten about completely, and now he’s spiraling. He can’t remember. He can’t remember who he is.

Suddenly, a voice pierces the fog.

“Splash?”

_ Splash _. The name is familiar, but he doesn’t remember why. Is it his?

Another voice now.

“Mitch called us, said that you guys had made plans but you hadn’t shown up. He asked us to check on you.”

Another name, familiar but less so. Not his. But… someone’s. Someone important, maybe? And the voices…

A third voice. It’s either louder than the first two, or maybe the fog is just starting to recede.

“Are you okay? We’re… we’re worried about you. Symbol.”

_ Symbol _.

He gasps, the name bringing forth a flood of awareness that he wasn’t expecting. _ Splash. Mitch. And the voices… Raz’ul, Randy, Yashee. His bards, his students. _ With awareness comes his other senses- he can see again, see his desk in front of him with a marked up map sitting atop it, see his students looking at him with concern and more than a little bit of fear.

“Ah,” he says, and his voice sounds scratchy. He wonders how long he’s been sitting here. “Sorry, I must have… dozed off for a moment.”

“You were kind of just staring into space,” Yashee says after a moment, sharing a glance with the other two that he doesn’t even try to interpret. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

He does his best to smile, but based on their expressions, he doesn’t really succeed. “Yes, I’m fine. Just having a busy week, so I haven’t slept much. It must be catching up to me, that’s all.”

They all nod, and he can’t tell if they believe him or just respect his privacy enough to accept his answer. Either way, he’s grateful. 

“We’ll tell Mitch you’re okay, then,” Randy says, and the look in his eyes makes him realize that Randy, at least, understands more than he’s admitting.

“You should take a nap or something,” Raz’ul adds, the protective streak in him shining through.

Symbol _ (Symbol. He’s Symbol.) _ nods. “Probably not a bad idea,” he agrees, and can feel the smile start to relax on his face. “Thank you for checking in, and tell Mitch I’m sorry for worrying him.” He’s sorry for worrying them, too, but admitting that feels strangely vulnerable, in a way he’s not quite ready for.

Yashee’s smiling like she’s proud of him for something, but that’s not unusual for her. “I hope you know you can talk to us about things,” she says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

Despite himself, Symbol nods. “I appreciate that, Yashee. The same goes for the three of you, of course.” 

They glance at each other again, and in a flash, Symbol realizes that that clarification was completely unnecessary. They already trust him, go to him for advice for everything from relationships to anxieties to troubles from their pasts.

There are still secrets among them, probably always will be, but there is also trust and love and the desire to do something to help, no matter what.

As Yashee, Raz’ul, and Randy smile at him and leave, Symbol decides that he’ll open up to them. Not today, not right now, but someday.

If anyone deserves to know his secrets, his past, it’s the three bards who have made themselves the realest family Symbol has ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my [tumblr!](https://aubreylikesgirls.tumblr.com/)


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